There once was a mean mean man, you could say he was a dirty green man,
a dirt colored suit he wore with a snarled beak of a nose,
smelled like a dumpster (with flies flying all over)
how people would scurry away from him
as he walked to work and home again
Counting each step
On the sidewalk with a wall
Whispering words under mumbled breath
20100424
20101116
20100905
condensed
[excerpt from 2012]
this is how they got me. Trapped within without even knowing I was caught. the system setup to produce me, yet my production is desire to not be produced when already am.
alone actions and characters melt into mind and life and the events become charades of who I am and was and will be intertwine with theirs and mine. The visual elements, the letters, the patterns falling into place, lock-step. Perfectly synchronized in the grand timepiece of the universe.
no universe i know. only reality i know. reality is real. the thing that we are and perceive and do, our thoughts flying slow sometimes fast sometimes caught, sometimes swept over. even as the voice recites words in your mind it is not it who is you nor I that drove you to act independently of the system.
Their names and associated tones, intents, and constructs gilded upon you as current version's Santa Claus valentine newspaper texture quilt.
Could you have known we would find the way to catch you it would all have been a dream, could you have imagined the methods used to pinpoint the exactness of each moment in time you would have been a character in a game under the control of another version of yourself from a timeless realm where the smallest details of your perceptions are worked out through eons of practice shedding away the many hours of rehearsal for the crossing point that lasts no more longer than time is deep as thought is boundless where space is destined to reveal yourself to you.
condensed
20100905this is how they got me. Trapped within without even knowing I was caught. the system setup to produce me, yet my production is desire to not be produced when already am.
alone actions and characters melt into mind and life and the events become charades of who I am and was and will be intertwine with theirs and mine. The visual elements, the letters, the patterns falling into place, lock-step. Perfectly synchronized in the grand timepiece of the universe.
no universe i know. only reality i know. reality is real. the thing that we are and perceive and do, our thoughts flying slow sometimes fast sometimes caught, sometimes swept over. even as the voice recites words in your mind it is not it who is you nor I that drove you to act independently of the system.
Their names and associated tones, intents, and constructs gilded upon you as current version's Santa Claus valentine newspaper texture quilt.
Could you have known we would find the way to catch you it would all have been a dream, could you have imagined the methods used to pinpoint the exactness of each moment in time you would have been a character in a game under the control of another version of yourself from a timeless realm where the smallest details of your perceptions are worked out through eons of practice shedding away the many hours of rehearsal for the crossing point that lasts no more longer than time is deep as thought is boundless where space is destined to reveal yourself to you.
20100904
previous dream experiments
these are really "notes to self" to get some thoughts out of my head, I am sure it is a temporary stage.
I am reminded of dream experiments I performed when I first arrived in Memphis and which I continued for several years. This would have been from 1990 to 1993.
At the time, I was very into self-hypnosis also, which I have semi-picked back up over the last year. But not to the level of clarity that I had then. Then, I had much less secondary-oversite thoughts - my tree of knowledge was smaller.
I was younger. To recall that time, I know that - my ideas of "what is possible" were less informed than what I know now - yet my enthusiasm to believe allowed me to immerse into the mental-scape... if not expand on it as I do now. Then, I had such little experience, that most of my ideas were others ideas, I did not go far from script, though I was also born with a lot of script that was never told me.
The beginnings of the ideas - where they came from are clear that way - what is ME aligns top-to-bottom with my sense, what is not has some friction. However, I have been trying over the past three years to re=integrate (combine) that previous level of imagination with my knowledge and experience now. And I know that back then I felt I was much more "myself" as an even younger child, I can see those different self and ideas of selves back through the years, to my first memories, so I keep them maintained in my personal catalog. What I am doing now is more the fulfillment of ideas those me's had of what I could become in the future, and I know call on future selfs from the next decade and beyond for the same.
What I mean to say now is, back then, in 1990-1991 when I lived in the dorms at Memphis State (now University of Memphis) I would often awake and recall many layers of dreams within dreams and re-visions of dreams in the same night. I was very into reading Jane Roberts and lucid dreaming and attempting to use my dreams as a way to test the concepts of reality outside of reality. "outside" would be inside - the 'through-ness' of reality. If it were all a gestalt, it would be communication between non-consecutive layers.
If there was a "natural" way to connect to the realm of "heaven" - if - then dreams are the most natural way, of the many ways. At that time, I was attempting to find a way to alter physical reality by my dreams or allow God to communicate instructions to me through dreams. What I would do with the information, or what those instructions would be was unknown. Only that I must study it, and in studying come to find proofs.
In my own mind, there is ample evidence in the world that what I did worked, However, it is never enough to convince oneself. Or to have only ideas to show for something. If the concept that I am grappling with here is factual then it will have use in the world. The type of use that I expect is the same as mathematics, physics, and end up creating the more practical items such as the engine and computer - yet these would be knew devices which have probably been only in the realm of science-fiction or fantasy or religious text.
To me, it is a coalescence of ideas which humanity has had for eons yet which have not been understood. I know it is the same situation the finders of electro-magnetic forces had. Proving and using something that is (for the most part) undetectable by human bodies, yet is available within our universe; as our bodies run on those same systems, yet we created electronics differently from our selves, yet in our own "reasoning" manner.
I have no doubt that I will explain this further over the next decade, it has just been attempting to gather the materials and check all the possibilities; not to mention putting it completely aside for 2000-2010. - and like a dream - when one is creating reality and livining in that reality, it is ... well, I need to get back tot he level of ability I had before. and will do that over the next 6months.
I am reminded of dream experiments I performed when I first arrived in Memphis and which I continued for several years. This would have been from 1990 to 1993.
At the time, I was very into self-hypnosis also, which I have semi-picked back up over the last year. But not to the level of clarity that I had then. Then, I had much less secondary-oversite thoughts - my tree of knowledge was smaller.
I was younger. To recall that time, I know that - my ideas of "what is possible" were less informed than what I know now - yet my enthusiasm to believe allowed me to immerse into the mental-scape... if not expand on it as I do now. Then, I had such little experience, that most of my ideas were others ideas, I did not go far from script, though I was also born with a lot of script that was never told me.
The beginnings of the ideas - where they came from are clear that way - what is ME aligns top-to-bottom with my sense, what is not has some friction. However, I have been trying over the past three years to re=integrate (combine) that previous level of imagination with my knowledge and experience now. And I know that back then I felt I was much more "myself" as an even younger child, I can see those different self and ideas of selves back through the years, to my first memories, so I keep them maintained in my personal catalog. What I am doing now is more the fulfillment of ideas those me's had of what I could become in the future, and I know call on future selfs from the next decade and beyond for the same.
What I mean to say now is, back then, in 1990-1991 when I lived in the dorms at Memphis State (now University of Memphis) I would often awake and recall many layers of dreams within dreams and re-visions of dreams in the same night. I was very into reading Jane Roberts and lucid dreaming and attempting to use my dreams as a way to test the concepts of reality outside of reality. "outside" would be inside - the 'through-ness' of reality. If it were all a gestalt, it would be communication between non-consecutive layers.
If there was a "natural" way to connect to the realm of "heaven" - if - then dreams are the most natural way, of the many ways. At that time, I was attempting to find a way to alter physical reality by my dreams or allow God to communicate instructions to me through dreams. What I would do with the information, or what those instructions would be was unknown. Only that I must study it, and in studying come to find proofs.
In my own mind, there is ample evidence in the world that what I did worked, However, it is never enough to convince oneself. Or to have only ideas to show for something. If the concept that I am grappling with here is factual then it will have use in the world. The type of use that I expect is the same as mathematics, physics, and end up creating the more practical items such as the engine and computer - yet these would be knew devices which have probably been only in the realm of science-fiction or fantasy or religious text.
To me, it is a coalescence of ideas which humanity has had for eons yet which have not been understood. I know it is the same situation the finders of electro-magnetic forces had. Proving and using something that is (for the most part) undetectable by human bodies, yet is available within our universe; as our bodies run on those same systems, yet we created electronics differently from our selves, yet in our own "reasoning" manner.
I have no doubt that I will explain this further over the next decade, it has just been attempting to gather the materials and check all the possibilities; not to mention putting it completely aside for 2000-2010. - and like a dream - when one is creating reality and livining in that reality, it is ... well, I need to get back tot he level of ability I had before. and will do that over the next 6months.
20100814
matter of perspective
The singular matter of perspective: inquired, prepared, served
they are going to tell you you're just not good enough
they are going to sell you on believing in all of their stuff
they are going to try to, but, I know you won't listen will you?
they are going to keep at it, but you won't let them have the advantage
they are like repeaters, saying things they heard to say
they are like actors, playing roles they were taught to play
they are often unaware of the sharpness of their swords
so when you turn them aside, be gentle as possible, they are just like you, of course
Some will say "it's already been done"
some will say "it's not the right way"
some will promise they are looking out for you
- but I wouldn't count on them showing (though they may)
It will seem like them - but it will be you,
for we remember others, and how they rode through,
do not take them as yourself though -
for you are the thing examining them,
as your own now will be looked at by you in the future
though all around you the reflections of similarities abound
somehow, we pull ourselves off the flat sheet and rise up to move around
the phrases of days gone by for years -
will still ring up - like they never left
and build and build as time flows backwards it will seem like less changes,
though that's probably just because you can see more from higher-up places
you will make things both grandious and childish,
though which is better? the answer you may attempt to accomplish
some would say it is the details that declare
what summaries overlook and fail to account
but don't get so stuck in details you never find your way out
do not overlook the details, you won't find your way in
however, do not listen to me as you've already told yourself
they are going to tell you you're just not good enough
they are going to sell you on believing in all of their stuff
they are going to try to, but, I know you won't listen will you?
they are going to keep at it, but you won't let them have the advantage
they are like repeaters, saying things they heard to say
they are like actors, playing roles they were taught to play
they are often unaware of the sharpness of their swords
so when you turn them aside, be gentle as possible, they are just like you, of course
Some will say "it's already been done"
some will say "it's not the right way"
some will promise they are looking out for you
- but I wouldn't count on them showing (though they may)
It will seem like them - but it will be you,
for we remember others, and how they rode through,
do not take them as yourself though -
for you are the thing examining them,
as your own now will be looked at by you in the future
though all around you the reflections of similarities abound
somehow, we pull ourselves off the flat sheet and rise up to move around
the phrases of days gone by for years -
will still ring up - like they never left
and build and build as time flows backwards it will seem like less changes,
though that's probably just because you can see more from higher-up places
you will make things both grandious and childish,
though which is better? the answer you may attempt to accomplish
some would say it is the details that declare
what summaries overlook and fail to account
but don't get so stuck in details you never find your way out
do not overlook the details, you won't find your way in
however, do not listen to me as you've already told yourself
20100729
the needle's point
the needle's point
who takes ions from the eons and melts them into moments?
who licks the surface of reality understanding the qualities of the substances imbibed?
who recalls the unseen past causing physical reactions stored patterns?
who suffers under the weight of their own consciousness?
us - the people, the burden of communicators, replicating transmissions
crumble us, let us fall into sense, let the mind still and pure feeling wash us
when we go to reach back we are blinded by the light of thoughtlessness
the dark fathomless infinity of source - our source - us! we!
Look how the world is all mechanics and clockworks
Look how the world is all processors and designed responses
Change - the most bountiful and rarest of things surrounds -
create we ships upon this moving ocean, and calculate stars to guide,
yet our own hearts are more tumultuous and our eyes more wandering.
who holds the full length of their life exploring it from birth to death?
who balances the needs of everyone else against the needs of self?
who rejoices in the moments of life and recoils in the moments of life?
one day we are this and one day we are that, even in minutes and fighting ourselves inwardly,
we seek in the world a comfort outwardly, when be we molecules in a raindrop, splashing endlessly combining and breaking, forces pulling together and tearing apart our connections and relations.
It won't be sad, to look at those things in another, or in other objects and animals, or contemplating beings above such experiences in supernatural landscapes of the mind. Imagine you are the needle's point, the very smallest entry of yourself into the world, behind you, outside of the world - beyond the world - lies the immensity of yourself; pressing so softly into this world - drawing in your stitch to the fabric of reality, the color of your self leaking into the rest of us, creating the energy that keeps us all warm and moving, ever-seeking to know more of each other, the peaks and valleys and plains and moments ever-new on the front of time - where we live and create the world around through and with us.
who?
20100112
the resolution
the resolution
it depends at what level you are looking at.
When you go, you let go.
it depends at what level you are looking at.
When you go, you let go.
Then it happens.
As it happens you direct.
Then it stops.
you say "PHEW"!
Then you do it again, and you are better than last time.
It is magic, growing.
"evergrowing" in whatever you are doing....
Unless you are tired and will try harder later, which ... enforces itself too... Watch That!
Some people take in something bad so they can better appreciate what is good. It is hard to tell what someone is doing unless you explore them, but you might not be able to explore everybody, all the time, but over time you can still understand them by rotating them in your head.
How all this occurs is partially known by a lot of people
and sometimes mostly known by you,
it depends at what level you are looking at.
"the resolution".
and sometimes mostly known by you,
it depends at what level you are looking at.
"the resolution".
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